May 10, 2012

Obscene, Heavy-Breathing...Cat?

I used to have a cat that was insanely affectionate. He loved to insert himself in the middle of everything, and when he decided it was time to cuddle, well, it was going to happen whether you wanted it to or not. He would pick the person, too, and sometimes it would be a complete stranger. I think he needed to mark every single human he came across as his 'territory' so he could curl up on them whenever he wanted. And I do mean on them. This cat used to sleep on my face. It was really annoying. :)

There was one thing, though, that he didn't want his humans near, and that was Christmas bows. You know, the ones you peel and stick on a gift. Yeah. I brought him home as a kitten right before Christmas, and I was worried he was going to annihilate the tree. Nope. He was mesmerized by the bows on the gifts. He batted at them for a bit, pounced on a few others, and then, oh joy! One came off! 

Clearly, this bow was meant for him and him only. He played with it all over the room, and then the weirdest thing happened. He noticed I was a mere five feet away! His beloved human, the one who feeds him and keeps him safe, was now suddenly a threat. What if I tried to take his bow? He was having none of that, and decided to stake his claim with a vengeance.

He picked up the bow in his mouth, arched his back, and hissed. That right there was funny enough to send me giggling, but have you ever heard a cat try to hiss with something in its mouth? It doesn't work so well, and there is no actual hissing sound. Instead, it sounds like obscene heavy breathing. I fell over in hysterics, which offended him greatly because I clearly wasn't taking him seriously. He forgave me later, though, after he'd hidden the bow and come out for dinnertime. :)


Matthew MacNish said...

This was hilarious. Cats are insane.

Tabitha Olson said...

Yes they are. :)